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The Closer


I was on about 4 dating apps and constantly looking for 'the one'. I was swiping left and right so much that I began to judge my level of self-worth by if they connected with me or not. It was my new obsession of trying to find the one. Dating was constantly on my mind. Who I’m going to date next and when. After a date, it was my mission to find out when the next date will be. I was the closer. I wanted to close this date and get another date. But was I really wanting another date with this guy or was I just obsessed with him saying ‘yes’ to me and agreeing on a second date. Dating became my full-time job. If I was paid commission for every prospect that I closed to take me on a date, I wo

uld be a millionaire. Maybe not that much. But if I kept the focus and mission of going on as many dates as possible, I believe my commission check would be pretty grand. My boss would then be impressed with my numbers and would honor me as an example of great selling and use my selling techniques as part of a way for the sales team to learn how to handle objections and close the sale.

Even my friends started to ask me how many dates I've been on and how many are scheduled for the following week. Dating became an obsession for me. I finally found my self emotionally drained and confused on what I even wanted in a relationship. I think I tried so hard to look good, smell good and say all the right things that I became this robot of trying to impress my date. I finally had to sit back and wonder why am I was working so hard on dating and why was I obsessing over when the next date will be. It finally hit me that I didn’t want to feel rejected. I was trying to avoid rejection at all cost. I really just wanted a guy to like me and to finally claim me for his own. I really wanted the guy to close me.

This obsession that I created of dating had to come to an end. I no longer want to participate in being the closer of obsessive dating. It was like I was trying to hit the 'quick button' to find a relationship. I believe each person has to find their own style of dating and what works best for them. No matter what style that you use, try not to get overly obsessed with trying to master it and beat it at it's own game. Meaning if finding a date at church works for you, don't stand outside the church with a sign that says single and ready to get married today. Right. Let's remember the real reason that we want to date in the first place. We all want to naturally connect with someone and to see where that connection leads. If you overly obsess about it, you're not giving it air to breath and naturally grow. The best way to date is to let it go. Meaning whatever happens happens. Keep an open mind to where each day brings you. Be a closer of your own life and let the dating part just naturally unfold.