Living in a small framework doesn’t allow any openness to new possibilities, it can make you feel like you’re trapped in a world that can’t meet your set of expectations. We say we have an open mind but it’s really just a set of boundaries we’ve set for ourselves that blocks other people and other options.
The word other meaning not on your checklist. That’s right. The checklist in your mind that say this person has to be this tall, have this much money, this much success, must be super attractive, and on and on—before I can even give them any of my time! Your time is too valuable to even talk to another human that doesn’t match your level of expectations. Ouch. By reading that part stings a bit, you have high expectations. You just don’t want to admit it. You’re also reading this because you know something has to give because you know you’re expecting too much, probably even expecting too much from this blog post too.
When we meet someone for the first time, research says that we size them up in 60 seconds or less! We send snapchats all day long that lasts 10 seconds or less. In 60 seconds, a person couldn’t share with you their whole life story, how they got to where they’re at, their values, their beliefs, their goals, and so on. It’s really just basing them on physical appearance. Sounds pretty shallow to me. 60 seconds isn’t a long enough time to get to know someone. It also sounds very selfish. We are trying to hit that easy button to flush out all the people that aren’t on our checklist and meeting our level of expectations so that we aren’t bothered by them anymore. Intimate relationships or not, the expectations are set too high.
What will it take for you to be more open to other humans? What will it take for you to toss out your checklist? Your expectations may not be humanly possible. It might be time to evaluate your expectations.
Also, do you wear our expectations as a badge of honor?
Life coaching is a passion of mine. Reach out to me if you feel like you need one-on-one coaching on how to set realistic expectations for yourself. Having expectations can be good but it can also put high pressure and anxiety on someone or something that are not able to live up to.