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Confetti Before Growth

There is a natural force on women to reach milestones in their life before the age of 30 years old. Historically, women are taught to get married and procreate early in life. Modern women are pressured to become the next CEO before the age of 30. Society portrays beautiful women as being young, vibrant, skinny, and flawless. Women are pressured to freeze their face, inject their body parts for a fuller and youthful body, and wear fake eyelashes and hair extensions to show off a fuller growth of hair. To balance the modern and conformed woman, they must also put their needs aside to laugh, cater, and fulfill their partner’s desires. Yes, that means cook, clean, and everything that their partner’s mamma promised them a woman will do for them. Let’s prove these statements with evidence-based studies.

Science proves that women’s fertility naturally declines with age. Experts state that the best time to get pregnant is between a women’s late 20s and early 30s. One study pinpointed the ideal age of giving birth to a first child is at age 30.5. Science also proves that a person does not reach adulthood until the age of 20 years old. Realistically, a female will need to graduate high-school on-time, launch a career quickly, and in the meantime select a compatible partner to immediately start having children with-- all under the age of 30 or hopefully younger!

Going back to basics of psychology, humans have basic needs to be met before they can move on to the next milestone. Abraham Maslow developed the hierarchy of needs to demonstrate that humans have innate needs to be attained in order. The first hierarchy of need is physiological like food, water, and rest. The second hierarchy of need is safety like shelter, warmth, physical security, and emotional security. The third hierarchy of needs is belongingness. For example, loving relationships and a sense of belonging to a community. The fourth hierarchy of needs is esteem which is self-respect, self-confidence, and feelings of success. Do you know a 20 year that has reached this fourth stage? Okay, let’s move on. The final stage of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is self-actualization. This is the stage where you should throw confetti up in the air and celebrate. This is the stage, whether you realize it or not, is the stage you want to grow to be at. Did you pick up on the term grow into? This stage is not an automatic switch. It is a continuous of learning, growing, and adapting to life experiences and that takes age to get there. Yes, age.

Maslow made a memorable statement that “most people are not able to reach self-actualization until mid-adulthood.” Yes, mid-adulthood! He goes on to say that characteristics of self-actualization includes acceptance of self and others, spontaneity, autonomy, creativeness, resistance to enculturation, problem centering, and continued freshness of appreciation.

Let’s now look at research on couples who do get married at an early age.

About 50% of married couples divorce. Today, a couple’s divorce is most commonly blamed on incompatibility. Incompatibility is defined as the condition of two things being so different in nature as to be incapable of coexisting. Social norms pressure couples to get married without even identifying if they are compatible for one another. Sounds ridiculous but endless studies show that people marry for many other reasons other than love or compatibility.

The goal for this content is to normalize an authentic way of living. Humans weren’t created to be robotic but designed to endure living. Living the way you choose to live. Not listening to the social pressures and demands of what you should be doing with your life. Throwing out social norms and perceived ideas of how you think you should live your life. My hope for you is that you wake up on purpose, knowing that you have created a life worth living. You have the freedom and power to create an authentic life. Choose today!