When we have unhealthy attachments, it makes it that much more challenging to be in healthy relationships, intimate or friendships. You may have an attachment disorder and not even recognize it. For example, when someone is upset with you or your partner tells you something that hurts your feelings, your response could be, with a faulty attachment, “I no longer can be happy because they don’t like me...or whatever the case may be.” You have programmed your emotional response to react to another person’s response to you.
When you can respond to someone else’s opinion or cruelty towards you with no reaction, psychologists call this ‘freedom’. You are now self-aware. You are not only aware of yourself but to your emotions and where they are stemming from. By not reacting, it’s telling the other person that their opinion of you holds no value to you. Makes sense? You can step away from this person now with no attachment. This is called ‘detachment’.
Detaching is challenging to do and that’s why so many people stay in toxic relationships. They rather attach themselves to someone else’s chaos because it can feed their ego and insecurities. It becomes a viscous and unhealthy cycle that spins people’s emotions out of control when they stay in a toxic relationship.
If you’ve noticed that someone can spin you out of control, check to see why they have that power over you and if there’s an attachment to that person that is faulty.