Giving Therapy a Second Chance

One of the first questions I ask when meeting with a new client is, “What has your experience with therapy been like in the past?”

Many people who walk into my virtual therapy room have been to therapy at some point in their lives. For some, it was a positive and meaningful experience. For others, it may have been uncomfortable, disappointing, or even harmful.

When someone tells me they’ve had a negative experience with therapy before, one of the first things I do is acknowledge the courage it took to try again.

Asking for help can already feel vulnerable. There can be guilt, shame, fear, or uncertainty associated with reaching out for support. When you’ve had a bad experience with therapy in the past, taking that step again can feel even harder.

Maybe you had a therapist who felt too rigid or clinical. Maybe you didn’t feel heard, understood, or supported. Perhaps you struggled to connect with their personality or therapeutic approach. A therapist may have unintentionally triggered something from your past, or you simply never felt comfortable enough to fully open up.

Whatever the reason, a difficult experience with one therapist doesn’t necessarily mean that therapy itself isn’t for you.

It’s Okay to Find a Different Therapist

We need to normalize changing therapists.

Therapy is a relationship, and just like other relationships in our lives, not every therapist is going to be the right fit for every person. You deserve to work with someone who provides an environment where you feel safe enough to be vulnerable, challenged enough to grow, and supported enough to keep showing up.

Sometimes you may even have a wonderful therapist who helped you tremendously—and still reach a point where you need something different.

I tell my clients that I have certain tools, resources, experiences, and areas of expertise that I can offer them. I can support and challenge them in many ways, but I may not always be the therapist they need for every stage of their journey.

And that’s okay.

There are so many knowledgeable and specialized therapists who can offer different perspectives and approaches. Someone may initially come to me to work through anxiety or depression and later realize they would benefit from working with a therapist who specializes in sexual health, relationships, trauma, eating disorders, substance use, or another specific concern.

Transitioning to another therapist doesn’t mean therapy failed. It can actually be a sign of growth.

Therapy Should Grow With You

My goal as a therapist isn’t to keep a client in therapy with me forever. My goal is to help my clients grow.

Sometimes that means continuing our work together. Other times, it means recognizing that someone else may be better equipped to support the next part of their journey.

I want my clients to feel comfortable telling me when something isn’t working, when they need something different, or when they’re ready to explore another therapeutic approach. Finding the right therapist can sometimes take more than one try.

So, if you’ve tried therapy before and it wasn’t a positive experience, consider giving it another chance.

Your previous experience does not have to determine what your next experience will be. A different therapist, therapeutic style, specialty, or approach could make a meaningful difference.

There are many compassionate, skilled, and specialized therapists available, and it’s okay to take your time finding someone who feels like the right fit for you.

If you’re feeling stuck and don’t know where to begin in your therapy journey, please reach out. You don’t have to have everything figured out before asking for support. Sometimes the first step is simply being willing to try again.